


I throw myself far away (but in the end, boomerang)

by pcwife



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, ChanSoo - Freeform, Drabble, Flashbacks, I just wanted yeol to miss him, M/M, No shade to soo tho, Nostalgia, Trainee Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 14:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13460400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pcwife/pseuds/pcwife
Summary: Everything reminds Chanyeol of how much Kyungsoo has changed





	I throw myself far away (but in the end, boomerang)

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write a cute fic where Chanyeol misses Soo but somehow this turned out much more angsty than I thought it would?  
> Idk how I made Kyungsoo's entire acting career a sad thing (T-T). It isn't!  
> And yes, the title is from Boomerang by EXO
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/pcwifey), [Tumblr](http://mrswangyeol.tumblr.com/)

They were at yet another Nature Republic event. Kyungsoo wasn’t there. Chanyeol made sure to keep his ‘work smile’ in place as he waved at the crowd. He should have been used to it by now. Kyungsoo’s work schedule hadn’t matched with his for a long time now. Ever since he’d started getting more and more acting roles. Chanyeol tried to remember to smile at each excited fan that came up to the table, and put cute little messages in his autographs. He fielded questions about where, exactly, Kyungsoo was and distracted the askers with a crinkly-eyed smile. The truth was that even he didn’t know what Kyungsoo was doing. They’d long gone past the stage where they kept track of each other’s schedules. A fan excitedly handed him a box of takoyaki and Chanyeol’s smile grew distant as he remembered his trainee days.

**********

“Kyungsoo-ah, the usual?”

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo had always lived close to each other. Which is why they always took the same train home, at the same time, and stopped at the same place for post-training snacks. Chanyeol’s question was only a formality. They always split a serving of takoyaki from the same stand. A few of their fellow trainees had already started dieting in preparation for debut. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, however, couldn’t be bothered.

“Yeah,” came Kyungsoo’s response. “Let’s stop by that coffee shop at the corner too. I need some honey tea today.”

“Your throat again? Damn, they ride you too hard in those vocal lessons.”

“Eh, I don’t mind. It’ll all be worth it in the end,” Kyungsoo turned and gave him the heart-shaped smile that Chanyeol loved best, “I’m going to be a hotshot singer someday.”

**********

Chanyeol had always found their red-carpet outfits uncomfortable. EXO was at an award show tonight, and he’d been trussed up in a double-layered velvet suit _and_ a waistcoat. He was sweltering already and they’d not even made it into the venue yet. Instead, they were standing on an upraised stage as a vaguely familiar lady – news anchor, maybe? – interviewed Junmyeon. He turned, smiled, and waved in the direction of a few fansite admins. The flurry of squeals that followed that made him feel slightly better. He tried not to focus on how much hotter and uncomfortable it was going to get once they were seated inside.  
He glanced at his members and winced internally. However bad he had it, at least the stylists hadn’t put him in a turtleneck like poor Jongin. Of course, the luckiest of them all was Kyungsoo, who hadn’t been put in anything. Because he wasn’t here. The managers had said that he’d try to make it for the performance, but Chanyeol had already heard Baek and Junmyeon practicing Kyungsoo’s parts. Looks like no one really believed that the vocalist could be pulled away from filming that easily. It was funny to think that there was a time when Kyungsoo was deathly afraid of speaking in front cameras.

**********

“Yah! What are you doing??” Kyungsoo ducked out from under Chanyeol’s arm faster than the taller boy thought was possible.

“Relax, ‘Soo, it’s just a selfie,” came Sehun’s amused voice.

“I know _what_ it is. I just don’t know why you’re including me! You know I hate cameras.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, “You do know that you’re training to be an idol, right? This is your actual job.”

“Singing is different. I don’t have to stare a lens down and pretend to be interesting when I’m singing – I’m already interesting-”

“-and cocky,” Chanyeol quipped. He sent Soo an arresting smile when the shorter boy glared at him.

“Shut up, Yeol. And quit trying to pull me into your rabid need to be on camera 24/7. It’s not going to work.”

“Well, the jokes on you, shorty. Because I was recording a video the entire time!” Chanyeol cackled as he pressed the upload button.

He wasn’t cackling a few seconds later when Kyungsoo got him in a headlock.

Sehun rolled his eyes and told them to get a room.

**********

This time they were in Dubai. Chanyeol couldn’t believe that this many fans showed up. He hadn’t even known that people this far away _cared_. He should have been enjoying the fountain show, trying to engage the crowd, but all he could do was stand there, phone in hand, recording the entire thing like a star-struck fan. 

He panned his camera out, away from the fountain and towards the crowd, making sure to get all the different signs with the members’ names on them. It was a special kind of bittersweet to see all the “D.O” signs. Kyungsoo couldn’t make it, of course. He’d have loved to see this – finally proof that his voice could reach this far, inspire this much love. That’s all he’d dreamed about back then. All he’d cared about. But Kyungsoo was filming. And he’d be too busy to view this video when Chanyeol sent it to him later. Or read his messages. Or take his calls. He’d been too busy for anything lately. Chanyeol had heard that he’d even requested that SM push back the release for his solo album. Something about taking on another role and hectic scheduling. As one of the producers, Chanyeol had shifted a lot of his schedule around to accommodate the move.

Thinking back to those days when they’d lie exhausted and sweaty on the floor of the practice room made his heart ache. All they’d wanted was to make music. When did things become so twisted? When did music become an inconvenience?

**********

It was 2 weeks to debut and Chanyeol was woken up by a hacking cough coming from the kitchen. He’d passed out on the couch as soon as they’d gotten to the dorms, too exhausted to make the 10 steps to his shared bedroom. Through bleary eyes, he could see Kyungsoo bent over the kettle, dropping something into a cup. Chanyeol shuffled over to the kitchen and draped himself over Kyungsoo in an approximation of a very heavy back hug.

“Cough still going strong?” Chanyeol rasped.

Kyungsoo nodded, took a sip of his tea, and winced.

“You heard what the vocal coach said. Give your throat a rest and it’ll settle down, ‘Soo.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. 

“This close to debut…,” he started, his voice sounding faint and wheezy, “ …the late nights, the aching limbs, the surgeries…If I’m not spending my time singing, what was the point of it all?” He looked up at Chanyeol, his expression stark and serious.

**********

What really was the point of it all?

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/pcwifey), [Tumblr](http://mrswangyeol.tumblr.com/)


End file.
